The Siege of The Vatican

The Siege of The Vatican was the final event of the Ashinian conquest of the Kingdom of God. It took place on June 14th, 2021 at 9:30, when a coalition of Ashina, Fare-Sesso and FCA forces stormed an abandoned Vatican City. The Ashinian forces were led by Shepsicle, KnightofNotch and Grandpa Boob of Lothridge. The FCA Battalion was commanded by Chancellor Cody, and the Fare-Sesso Battalion by RaptorJ6.

The battle was won by Ashina following a refusal of war by the Kingdom of God, led by Pope Mistapurple, and Vatican City fell under Ashinian rule.

Background
On June 11th, four days before the fated battle, the Kingdom of God's Anime Map art was griefed by an unknown perpetrator. Angry at the destruction of their work, they ordered a PIB hit on Hargreevs, who mocked their map art the day prior.

This hit ended in disaster, as Hargreevs successfully fought off the assassin, and stole a book that revealed who paid for the hit, although the KOGs connection was dubious. It also stated that the same person had paid for a hit on Shepsicle earlier that week.

Hargreevs called a meeting at the Kais Kogong inn, where the Ashinians learned of the assassination. Vasya attempted to placate them, proposing alternative theories on the involvement of the KOG, as they were not mentioned in the book. Nevertheless, the conclusion was reached that the Kingdom of God had assassinated one of the highest ranked members of Ashina. They declared war on the KOG on June 12th.

The Ashina-Vatican War
After conducting a series of raids against the Kingdom of God on June 13th in which all but one of its members were killed and their equipment captured, Emperor KnightOfNotch and King Shepsicle were eager to press the advantage and end the war quickly. Emperor KnightOfNotch coordinated with the other leaders in the alliance, namely King RaptorJ6 and Chancellor Cody29797, and created a plan to crush the Kingdom of God in one final blow.

Unfortunately, RaptorJ6's computer broke, so he was unable to participate in the assault.

Ashina's Preparations
Because of Vatican City's advantageous position on a hilltop with only one easily scalable slope to the southeast, launching a successful attack, even against the heavily outnumbered and under-equipped KOG, would require a highly-coordinated attack strategy.

First, in order to draw out the KOG's fighters from their fortifications, the four best warriors in the alliance, King Ripesack, Grandpa_Boob, Hargreevs, and Wreaker_Prime, would launch a diversionary attack on Vatican City. Ripesack and Boob, designated the Mountain Raiders, would harass the KOG from the mountains and forests to the north and use Ashina's recently-constructed outpost in the area as a home base. Meanwhile, Hargreevs and Wreaker_Prime would serve as shock troopers, advancing directly up the only accessible slope to the southeast and engaging the KOG directly in order to draw them out.

Once the KOG took the bait and left their fortifications to attack Hargreevs and Wreaker, the rest of the alliance, commanded by KnightOfNotch, Shepsicle, RaptorJ6, and Cody29797, would advance from a position concealed by a small ridge to the southwest. With the KOG caught outside of their defenses, they would be forced to either retreat to the north right into the jaws of Ripesack and Grandpa_Boob, or to the west off of a sheer cliff face and likely to their deaths. Armed with this plan, Emperor KnightOfNotch felt confident in a swift victory with few losses.

Many uninvolved parties criticized the war, describing it as a glorified massacre, with little hope for KoG survival.

Initial Attack
On June 14th at 9:25 CST, the Ashina-led force landed at nearby Homo Town to the east and began to advance to their positions, just as a brutal thunderstorm descended on the battlefield. Although some units were separated during the storm, by 10:30 CST, all troops were in position, ready to attack. At this time, Emperor KnightOfNotch started playing music from the DOOM soundtrack and gave the order to attack.

However, once the alliance arrived at the gates of the Vatican, they came to a stunning realization: none of the members of the KOG were there. Instead, they found a book entitles "you goofy as fuck" that mocked the Ashinians for taking a computer game so seriously. Over the course of the next hour, citizens of the Vatican logged on and off, taunting their attackers. The city was formerly besieged.

Final Siege
Many of those involved were disappointed in the lack of participation from the KOG. In order to prevent boredom and frustration over such a highly anticipated battle, Admin EmprZedd began spawning giants for the attackers to fight off while they seized the city.

Aftermath
Once the Vatican was claimed by Ashina, it was placed under occupation. members of the city fled, with Jupiterdude relocating to Synbio. The Kingdom of God became Ashina's second largest occupied territory, after Aquendavia.