Archive:Jeremy the llama

From Alathra Wiki

Jeremy the Llama is a well known celebrity, politician, socialite, diamond mining mogul, and an all around general elephant psychiatrist. He is known on Alathra for his various political deeds relating to the infamous Shermansworld who famously sanctioned war crimes against the people of Temal after they were requested to be carried out by non other than Jeremy. That was in his earlier life however; more recently he has become a friend to the people, some wise scholars put it. He currently resides at the spawn island where he, for a small price, will hold on to your goods for a brief period of time for pick up by the Gorilla Mafia who will then transport it to the appropriate recipient.

Early Life

Jeremy was born in the universal year 2 in the now ruined city of Grandpa Boms II, close by to the lesser but still immaculate city of Peachfield, the then capital of the Elyrian Empire. Jeremy led a rather normal childhood until the Grand Elyrian Army had had enough of the governor of Grandpa Boms II, Jimmy Fallon and his talk show where he publicly  lambasted then Elyrian emperor _SHS_. Upon their arrival to the city gates of Grandpa Boms II, the army of Elyria slaughtered every man, woman, and child in sight. Thankfully however, Jeremy is a Llama so they payed him no mind.

Career in the Elyrian Army

After the great slaughter, as the event later became to be known, Jeremy contacted the then mayor of Peachfield, Shermansworld about potentially joining the ranks of the empire as he seeked a more adventurous life. Shermansworld, using a tin can on a string responded to Jeremy, offering him a position as General in the Elyrian army where he would be working alongside non other than the famous Chickenprism. The two infamously hit it off and were known to be good friends into old age where they ended up sharing a retirement home together, playing Mahjong every day, at the least 12 times.

During his time in the military, Jeremy famously led the charge into Homo Town, cutting down at least twelve and one half soldiers from the Ashinian ranks before blowing his war horn to sound the rest of the elephants in the Elyrian ranks to descend on the Ashinians. Jeremy was also intrumental in the planning of the war against the first Alathran Entente where he famously snuck into the castle at Lowtide an inserted a elephant listening device so that he could extract all information from the leaders of the entente. This allowed the Elyrians to make sweeping and devastating blows to the armies of the entente, along with of course the tactical prowess of Jeremy himself.

Work in the Elephant Medical Field

After many years in the Elyrian army, Jeremy decided to humbly resign from his position, choosing to take up a more civil practice as he desired a change in his occupation. A local in Peachfield, Galvatron offered Jeremy a payed internship at his recently opened Elephant Psychiatry Clinic where the elephants who famously lived in and around Peachfield were treated for various elephant illnesses such as Elephantitis and Elephantoastis, both extremely common illnesses in the Elyrian empire. Jeremy began immediately excelling at his new found job, treating elyrian elephant (all Elyrians are elephants now) patients everyday. Famously, Jeremy was able to save the life of the hand of SHS, Attune after he nearly died due to being struck by an elephant arrow from an elephant bow which elephantinely landed near his elephant hear. Jeremy was successfully able to remove the arrow without damage to Attune's body by using his own saliva to clot one of the hand's veins which had been struck by the arrow. A ceremony held by the elephant king, SHS was widely received the next day and Jeremy was gifted with a medallion with an elephant on it made from pure Elephantium, a resouce made from mixing elephant hairs with elephant netherite found in the elephant nether.

Crimes Against Humanity

Though a courageous hero in the eyes of the elephant residents of elephant Elyria, Jeremy was not a flawless man. Following his ground breaking work in the elephant psychiatry field, Jeremy seeked out a position on the Elyrian Farmer's council as he had unsettled business with a neighboring people on Koganon. When Jeremy was younger, his elephant father and his elephant mother (he was adopted by a typical elephant Elyrian elephant family, don't question it) took him on a trip to the wealthy and powerful nation known as Temal where he visited the metropolis of Fodlan to swim at the beaches nearby. While there, Temalese president Freddy Fastbear sought to deport Jeremy and his family from Temal as they had violated the elephant conventions which stated no elephants would be allowed in Temal. This caused Jeremy and is family to be removed from the country immediately, to their dismay. This event never left Jeremy who, after achieving a position on the Elyrian Farmer's Council, garnered support to send an army to Temal to torch the capital of New Heoerosaem and terrorize the people there. After this event, Temal famously went into a downwards spiral and was forever after known as a third world nation, being unable to recover from the losses imposed on them by the Elyrian forces.

Subsequent Trial

Following the dissolution of elephant Elyria, Jeremy was no longer protected under the elephant Elyrian government. Under the Arcadian Altanate, he was immediately convicted of war crimes and was dragged to Wahat Almarjan to be tried publicly. There, multiple Temalese refugees came forth, claiming that Jeremy had used elephant's toothpaste to flood the capital of Temal, along with eccentric rubber bird toys to scare the people due to their flamboyance and the natural Temalese fear of birds. The jury eventually decided that Jeremy would not face imprisonment, but rather banishment from Alathra itself. He was loaded onto an elephant ship heading to Elephantia (spawn) where he would later be released as a non-citizen and would likely remain forever.

Current Life

Jeremy now leads a life of relative success, despite his hardships. He eventually got into the smuggling business where he was able to secure a reputation for a being a reliable smuggler for traders looking to exchange items in Elephantia. He is now, despite his crimes, viewed with great admiration by the community of Alathra for being a noble servant to commerce itself. Though a flawed llama, Jeremy will likely continue his escapades and get into more wacky adventures in the future.